Two Can Play This Game
by ValerieViolette
Summary: In which Sasha tries to be a manipulative little shit and fails, leaving Levi to punish her. [Levi x Sasha - Modern AU - Rated T for language]


He knew that his girlfriend wasn't a very cleanly person. She left rings of water on the coffee table because she couldn't get it through her thick skull that coasters existed for a reason. She never bothered to clean up water, tea, soda, or _whatever_ when she spilled it.

Once, she tracked mud and dirt all the way from his front door to his bedroom. That made his blood pressure rise to abnormal levels, and made him forbid her from ever wearing her - or _anyone's_ - shoes inside his apartment again. (He had to clarify that rule because she tried to get around it by wearing _his_ shoes. He never really forgave her for stretching his favorite pair oxfords.)

Levi knew that Sasha wasn't a cleanly person. She simply left that up to him and his obsession with making everything spotless and dust free. But… _this_ was something Levi never expected from her.

* * *

It wasn't like he ever expected Sasha to be as clean as him. He didn't expect that of anyone, much less some college girl half his age. He just didn't expected that when he went to her apartment after work that her kitchen would be as disgustingly dirty as it was now.

A cluster of Sasha's dirty boots were in the entryway, her winter coat barely hanging in the closet (it was mostly off the hanger and on the floor), her scarf and hat draped over the back of her small couch. He could smell food cooking. His heart started pounding hard in his chest; this was _not_ a good thing. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. Levi turned the corner and saw the mess that used to be the kitchen and his girlfriend with a shit-eating grin on her face.

"What _the hell_ are you doing?"

"Well, aren't you off work early?" Sasha laughed, wiping her hands on her pants. A wet stain stretched down her blue jean-wearing thighs. She walked over to him with her arms wide open. "Welcome to your second home, Le—"

"Don't you dare touch me," he warned. His steely stare stopped her right in her tracks, arms still in the air, her brown eyes staring down at him, her smile almost fading. Almost.

"Oh, come on, Levi! I'm not _that _dirty." She went in for another hug only to be elbowed in the side as Levi dunked under her arms. "Ow! God, what's wrong with you?"

Levi scoffed and gave her a sharp glare. "Are you being serious right now?" Sasha shrugged with an impish look on her face. "What the fuck did you do to your kitchen? Why is there flour everywhere? Why is… what is _that_?" He pointed to some pinkish drops of liquid by the sink.

"Oh, that's just from the meat," Sasha said with a wave of her hand. "I accidentally flipped over the package the ground meat came in and the juice came out."

"And you didn't clean it up?" Levi's voice was even, but it was easy to tell he was angry.

"...no?"

Levi rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "You just left shit from raw meat sitting on the kitchen counter?" A shrug. "Even you have to know that disgusting… you _do _know that's disgusting, right?"

"I'm not an idiot."

"I beg to fucking differ." Sasha pouted and crossed her flour-dusted arms. "Why were you even cooking? You can't even boil water!"

"Yes, I can! It just… it just takes a few tries," Sasha mumbled.

"The only things you can cook are potatoes. Don't you remember when you tried to cook me dinner for my birthday and we ended up eating Chinese food?"

"Oh, yeah!" Sasha laughed. "That was fun."

"No, it wasn't! I had to clean for hours because of the mess you made, not to mention the stench!" Levi gagged at the _memory_ of it. "Why aren't you answering my question?"

"_That_ question or…?" Sasha shrunk back a little when she saw the glare Levi was giving her. "You asked a lot of them, I can't keep up," she mumbled.

"I'm surprised you got accepted into college…"

"Hey, don't be nasty."

"Maybe you should take your own advice." Sasha huffed and Levi clicked his tongue. "Whatever," he said as he reached for a dish rag. The sink was full of unclean pots and pans, spoons and forks, flour dusting most of them. He saw a few broken egg shells and a runny yolk underneath all of the kitchen hardware. "What were you trying to make in the first place?" he asked as he started to run hot water.

"Shepherd's pie," Sasha answered right as she jumped onto the counter opposite Levi.

"Did you burn it?"

"No! It's in the oven right now." She started swinging her legs back and forth, watching Levi as he turned the water off and rung out the dish rag. "You know, it was supposed to be a surprise. You shouldn't have come so early." She laughed. "That's what she said…"

Levi didn't dignify that last comment with a response. "I didn't know I wasn't welcome in my girlfriend's apartment," he commented.

"Hm… maybe there's a way you can make it up to me."

"Why would I have to do that?" Levi asked, turning around and _almost _leaning against the counter. It was dirty and riddled with bacteria; there was no way he was going to touch it with his body until it was _absolutely_ clean. "It's not like I asked you to make mess and surprise me with food."

"You could clean this up for me," Sasha said, completely ignoring him.

"This?"

"This," she said, gesturing to the whole kitchen. "You ruined the surprise and now you get to clean everything up. I'm sure you would've wanted to anyway." Well, she wasn't wrong about that. In fact, he was already leaving the kitchen to go get the cleaning supplies he left from the closet. "Thank you!" he heard Sasha sing.

He rolled his eyes, calling her an insolent brat under his breath. Reaching up to the tall shelf where Sasha left his supplies – cheeky kid, making it even more obvious that he was short – Levi could hear her humming to herself and turning on the TV. "Maybe you could even clean the living room while you're at it. I think I saw some dust on the TV stand."

"Tch…" He closed the door with his supplies in hand, ready to get to work. He walked passed the girl who was happily lying on her side, her dirty feet on the couch, watching Judge Judy. "You could help, you know."

"Yeah, I could, but you'd get at mad at me for not being a cleaning psycho like you and I'd rather not deal with that. You can go ahead and clean, though," she said with a backward glance. She smiled that ever shit-eating grin. "It's okay. Go clean."

He rolled his eyes again and went into the mess of a kitchen she left for him. When would she get it through her head that she wasn't a good cook? He was donning his gloves when Sasha called out to him. "And maybe when you're done with the living room, you could clean the bathroom. I saw some spots on the mirror from when I was brushing my teeth."

"And maybe you could learn to shut the hell up. I doubt that'll ever happen, though."

"Well, that was just rude."

"Oh, did the truth hurt a little bit too much?"

"Hmph! I'm thinking that you _definitely _should clean the living room and the bathroom."

"Why do you want me to clean so much, huh?"

"When do you _not_ want to clean?" She had a fair point.

"I didn't come over here to clean your dirty apartment, you brat. I came here to—" Levi stopped mid-sentence.

"You came here to what?"

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" Sasha didn't answer. "You made a mess because you knew I would clean it and because you were too lazy to clean your apartment yourself."

"...Is that a question, too?" Levi growled as Sasha sat up just long enough to stare at him from the couch. "I thought you were just going to clean and not question me. Man, I wish you were easier to manipulate."

"More like you should be better at manipulating," he scoffed. Sasha flopped back down on the couch, apparently done with the conversation. This little brat, trying to make him do all this work when he just got off from work, all while watching some woman on TV yell at idiots who think they're on the right side of the lawsuit. Two could play at this game. "Braus!"

Sasha didn't respond, watching the TV. She was ignoring him now. Levi stared daggers in her lying form. "Braus, _you're _going to clean this mess up."

"What?" Sasha shot straight and looked right at him. "What? What? What?"

"_You're_ going to clean this shit up. You know, to make it up to me."

"No way!"

"Braus," Levi said with a low voice. A staring – well, _glaring _– contest commenced. Neither of them were willing to back down. Maybe he was more intimidating or maybe he just had more experience with staring at people (he was twice her age, after all), but Levi won in the end.

"God…" Sasha sighed as she schlepped her way over to the kitchen. Levi smirked at her. "This is what I get for trying to surprise you."

"Oh, don't go back to that little excuse. Get to work! I want this place to be fucking spotless and sparkling when you're done."

Levi slapped his gloves into her hands, walked over to and lied down on the couch she just vacated. "Oh, and maybe you should clean the living room. It's pretty dirty." A grumble was the only response he got. "Oh, and maybe you should clean the bathroom, too. I don't want to take a shower in a place full with your grime." The response that time was a small "Be quiet". "Oh, and you should clean up the entryway. Your shoes are everywhere. Oh, and you should most definitely clean up your bedroom. I'm not sleeping – or doing anything else – in that room unless it's clean. Oh, and—"

"_Shut up, Levi!_"

He looked back at her and smirked.

Two could most definitely play at this game.

* * *

**[A/N]:** (Is Sasha OOC? I have no freaking idea.) This fic was written after me and my piece of trash friend Gene were talking about Sasha wanting Levi's meat (I'm sure you know what we mean), how Levi is always written in fics as calling people brats and saying "tch" and "shit" in every other sentence, and my coming up with fluffy Rivasha prompts from thin air.


End file.
